What do PETA and global warming have in common?

July 8th, 2007

They both cause shit storms.

The Live Earth concert is going on about now. Most reputable scientists believe global warming is a problem, so a bunch of Hollywood celebrities sing. A little ditzy, but that's not too bad. I might catch a video on Youtube or whatnot.

This pissed me off though: PETA, yes, the People for the "Ethical" Treatment of Animals, said of the Live Earth, the single best way to stop global warming is to become a vegan.

I'm having a little trouble typing this because I'm dizzy from all the head-spinning (twelve hours ago.)

No, sweeties, the best way to prevent global warming is to not eat. Think about it, the production and distribution of vegetables produces greenhouse gases, too. Not only won't you be supporting a market that leaves a carbon footprint the size of Glenn Beck's mouth, but you won't be making more emissions by driving your car to Walmart to get your green goodies. When you finally kick the bucket from starvation, you won't be using electricity anymore, and hey! You'll stop breathing out carbon dioxide! That's the single best way to prevent global warming, but PETA will only go far enough to advocate torching KFCs, which, by the way, produces carbon emissions. I rule.

PETA uses Live Earth's own claim that the meat industry produces 18% of all greenhouse gases, or "more than all cars and trucks put together." Food for thought: if Live Earth was as up in arms about this as PETA was, then why were they selling hot dogs and burgers at Wembley Stadium? Oh wait, that's because Live Earth is more concerned about the other 82% of carbon emissions to worry about picky eating habits.

Apparently, PETA uses Live Earth's suggestion to "green your diet" as a solution to the climate crisis (it's in this pamplet. Look carefully, it's buried between turning down the thermostat and carpooling.) Now, the bullshit: "Greening your diet" does NOT mean "become a vegan!" It means LIMIT your meat consumption, as the majority of doctors recommend.

Here's a partial list of things PETA and the ALF (yes, I'm being an asshole by lumping these together) can do to stop global warming:

• When spray-painting SUVs, keep it to one can per posse
• Load the animals you just saved from the lab onto your bike instead of your pickup before throwing them defenseless and untrained into the woods
• Kill as many cows as you can. Cows contribute more to global warming than human farts do: click
• Look for eco-friendly buildings to strip naked and protest in front of
• Arson buildings that are made primarily of stone
• And a special one for Ingrid Newkirk: Stop being a fan of NASCAR

Before I wrap this up, here's a recent quote by PETA campaigner Yvonne Taylor: "There is no such thing as a meat-eating environmentalist."

I found one in under five minutes:

I don't think I'm done with this number yet.

 Back to Ramblings...