Carrots? Lettuce? Pompousity? Ring it up!

May 17th, 2007

Okay, so I was at the grocery store today, buying the bare necessities (apples, soda, cheese, God's nectar, etc,) when I passed a skinny lady in the freezer section. Her cart was overflowing with vegetables, overpriced vegetable juices, soy, and whatnot. I thought, "Okay, she's a vegetarian. That's cool." Some people do it for health reasons, my mother limits her meat because she has trouble digesting certain enzymes, some people do it for religious reasons. Our fleshless friend was doing what suits her, stayed out of my cart, and that's fine.

Then I saw it.

I blinked. I blinked again. Then I noticed the soy milk in her cart (okay, it wasn't real milk, but it was perpetuating the popularity of a "cruel" cuisine by attempting to mimic it. That's not why I'm pissed, though.)

I gathered two things from the said shirt: one was that constraining yourself to three of five basic food groups somehow turns you into an independent thinker, like the people who told you to not use animal products, and the people who told the people.

The second was that, inversely, anyone who isn't vegan won't or can't think. Um, what?

Riddle me this, Stick Lady: if herbivores are so damn smart, why do they always find themselves eaten?

She probably didn't mean it "that way," but that was a pretty condescending statement she was making. She basically said everyone wandering into the dairy section of the HEB was dumber than her by default, never mind the box of Horizon Brand organic chocolate milk seated atop the bulk lentils (I'm NOT making this up.) Didn't we leave that behind in grade school? (boyz drool girlz rules lol!)

Apparently, there was a 20-year study with 8000 volunteers released last year which "proves" vegetarians are smarter. Unfortunately, the study found several interesting points:

1: There was "no difference in IQ between strict vegetarians and those who classed themselves as veggie but still ate fish or chicken." The article basically made four groups: vegans (like the lady mentioned above,) strict vegetarians (may take in dairy products,) moderate vegetarians (dairy, chicken, fish,) and meat eaters (the rest of us.)

Sorry to burst your guilt-free bubble, but if you eat chicken or fish, you're not a vegetarian! Therefore, that eliminates the intelligence difference between vegetarians and meat eaters, to a degree.

2: "Vegans - vegetarians who also avoid dairy products - scored significantly lower, averaging an IQ score of 95 at the age of 10." In other words, vegans think less than meat eaters. Whoops!

Look, I really don't have a problem with vegans. I have vegan friends, PETA-supporting friends, and hippie friends, and they are all very cool people. I only draw a line when people try belittle me because I'm not one of them. I get enough of that for other quirks, and we don't need printed Cafepress shirts doing the same thing (on top of that, being too lazy to open your mouth to make a statement. Your breakfast of celery not giving you enough energy?)

In short, Ms. Lettuce n' Beans, not only were you rather insulting in your wardrobe selection, but you're full of soyshit. I think, therefore I eat what's right.

 Back to Ramblings...